Monday, February 4, 2008
Help for Dealing with High Conflict Personalities
Instead of blaming back, you give empathy, attention, and respect (your E.A.R.). Instead of deciding who’s the bad guy and who’s the good guy, you help the parties focus on what positive behaviors each can contribute. Instead of reacting to high-intensity emotions, you acknowledge emotions and focus on the next tasks. Instead if trying to persuade HCPs to act differently, you set limits and build in consequences to your agreements or court orders. None of this is complicated, but it’s very hard to do when you are facing an angry, blaming, personalizing HCP. The bottom line is that it takes practice, practice, practice—and support and feedback from those you trust. And that’s the HCP Theory in a nutshell!